Thursday, August 27, 2009

What I think about Alice - rant

This was originally going to be a rant e-mail to my sister but I just kept writing and writing. Plus, I want your thoughts on this subject.

I don't like Alice. She's annoying and tries too hard to be helpful. Cannon Alice and fanfic Alice are all annoying. They have the “too much energy, nosey, pixie-like, shopaholic” tendencies that just rubs me the wrong way. She's the poster child of “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

Yea sure, there are plenty of people in the real world that seem to have too much energy. But all the time?

If I ever write a fic, Alice will be humbled. Yea, she'll be a 'glass half full' kind of girl but she'll have her dark moments of self-pity and her insecurity. She relies on her ability to see the future too much and/or her faith that the outcome will be what she has predicted. We should feel sorry for her or feel for her struggles to better connect with her as a character. Otherwise, she's just a know-it-all girl that puts her nose into other people's business (usually for the worst) and the other characters love her for it!

She bugs.

Ranting further, everytime she recognizes that she's made a mistake (usually with her meddling ideas) and apoligizes, she does so in a manner that is more of a guilt trip than an apology. The scene is usually the same:
She bit down on her bottom lip to try and stop its quivering. Her dark eyes shone with unshed tears as she quickly glanced up at me, her spiky hair a halo surrounding her angelic and disdraught face. She looked away from my angry stare and hunched her shoulder in misery. “I'm really sorry ____. It was only because I love you that I did it. I was positive that it would be ok,” she hiccuped. “ I'll never do that ever again,” she pledged.
I sighed and drew my arms around her slender sholders, muffling her quiet sobs of repentance. It's ok Alice,” I sighed, resigned. “It'll work out somehow.” I rubbed her back, trying to comfort her. “I know you meant well. I love you too.” She peaked up at me and threw me a dazzling smile of happiness.
Note: This shit writes itself!

WTF! Why does she always get her way?! (That quote wasn't from anything, just something I came up with but it's pretty much EVERY Alice that's out there. It could fit into ANY story.) For me, the best Alice characters are the ones where I feel sorry for because a nice girl shouldn't have such a crappy life.

Rant over... for now.

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